When parents in Florida separate or divorce, one of the most emotionally sensitive questions is where the child will live—and whether the child gets a say in that decision. It’s common for parents, and sometimes even children themselves, to ask: “Can a child choose which parent to live with in Florida?”
The short answer is no, not outright. While Florida courts may consider a child’s wishes, they are not bound by them. The overarching standard that guides all custody and time-sharing decisions in Florida is the best interests of the child. The child’s preference is just one of many factors courts evaluate in making that determination.
In this in-depth article, we’ll explore how Florida courts treat a child’s preference, the weight it may be given depending on age and maturity, the role of judges and guardians ad litem, and what parents need to know if this issue arises during a custody case. A seasoned Tampa divorce lawyer can help you understand how these principles apply in your case and how to build a strategy that protects your parental rights while prioritizing your child’s well-being.
The Legal Standard: Best Interests of the Child
Under Florida Statute §61.13, all decisions about parental responsibility and time-sharing must be made in accordance with the child’s best interests. This statute outlines a list of 20 factors courts must consider, ranging from each parent’s ability to provide a stable environment to the child’s home, school, and community record.
Among these 20 factors is one that often attracts attention:
“The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient intelligence, understanding, and experience to express a preference.”
In other words, Florida courts may—but are not required to—consider a child’s preference when determining where the child will live or how time-sharing should be allocated. The court must first determine whether the child is mature enough to have an informed and reasonable opinion.
A Tampa divorce lawyer can help you assess whether your child’s views might be persuasive and how best to present them to the court without causing additional stress or disruption.
Does Age Matter?
Age is a significant—but not controlling—factor. Florida law does not set a specific age at which a child can choose which parent to live with. Instead, it gives the judge discretion to decide how much weight to give the child’s preference, depending on their maturity and reasoning.
- Younger children (under 10): Courts rarely give much weight to the preferences of young children, as their opinions may be based on superficial or emotional factors (e.g., “Mom has better snacks”).
- Preteens and early teens (10–13): Judges may begin to consider their opinions more seriously, especially if the child articulates a clear and reasonable basis for their preference.
- Teenagers (14 and up): Courts are more likely to listen to older teens, particularly if they demonstrate maturity, consistency, and valid reasoning. However, even a 16- or 17-year-old’s preference is not automatically determinative.
A Tampa divorce lawyer can help you understand how your child’s age and reasoning may influence the outcome and what steps can be taken to present those preferences appropriately.
The Role of Maturity and Reasoning
Even more important than age is the reasoning behind the child’s preference. Florida courts will consider:
- Whether the child’s preference is based on logic or manipulation
- If one parent is trying to influence the child’s opinion
- Whether the child’s choice reflects an understanding of the consequences
- If the preference aligns with the child’s emotional and developmental needs
- Whether the child’s reasoning shows consistent thinking or impulsivity
A child who prefers one parent because they allow more screen time or don’t enforce rules may not be taken seriously. Conversely, a child who wants to live with a parent because of school stability, sibling relationships, or emotional security is more likely to be heard.
A Tampa divorce lawyer can guide you through presenting this kind of information to the court in a way that complies with Florida law and respects the child’s voice without making the child feel like they’re choosing sides.
How Courts Hear from the Child
Children are rarely placed on the witness stand in open court. For good reason—Florida courts try to minimize the trauma and pressure on children during custody disputes.
There are several ways a child’s preference may be considered:
1. In Camera Interviews with the Judge
In some cases, the judge may conduct a private interview with the child in chambers, without parents or attorneys present. This process is called an “in camera” interview and is intended to allow the child to speak freely without fear of judgment or pressure.
A court reporter may be present to preserve the record, and the attorneys may submit proposed questions in advance. The judge can then use this information in making a best interests determination.
Your Tampa divorce lawyer can petition the court for an in-camera interview if it’s appropriate, or object to it if it would be harmful or manipulated.
2. Guardian ad Litem (GAL)
A GAL is a neutral third party appointed by the court to represent the child’s best interests. The GAL conducts interviews, reviews documents, and may speak with teachers, counselors, and medical providers. They then submit a report and recommendations to the court.
The GAL may relay the child’s preference and context about their maturity and reasoning, offering the judge a fuller picture.
A Tampa divorce lawyer can request the appointment of a GAL in contentious cases where the child’s voice needs to be heard with sensitivity and professionalism.
3. Mental Health Evaluations or Custody Evaluations
In some cases, the court may order a psychological evaluation or custody study, often conducted by a licensed therapist or psychologist. These experts assess the family dynamic and may include interviews with the child.
Their findings may be submitted in a written report that includes the child’s stated preferences, emotional attachments, and developmental needs.
A Tampa divorce lawyer can help ensure the evaluator is qualified, the evaluation is conducted fairly, and the findings are properly introduced into evidence.
Risks of Forcing a Child to Choose
One of the biggest mistakes parents make is placing the burden of choice on the child—either explicitly or through subtle pressure. This approach can backfire both legally and emotionally.
Risks include:
- Emotional harm to the child: Children may feel guilt, anxiety, or pressure to “pick” one parent over the other, damaging their relationship with both.
- Allegations of parental alienation: If one parent is seen as influencing or coaching the child, the court may view this as an attempt to alienate the other parent, which can impact custody decisions.
- Loss of credibility: Judges are quick to recognize when a child’s preference is scripted or rehearsed. This can undermine the parent’s case.
- Long-term relationship damage: Children who feel forced into choosing sides often struggle with the emotional aftermath well into adulthood.
A Tampa divorce lawyer can help you advocate for your child without turning them into a pawn in your case.
Can a Teenager Just Refuse to Visit?
A common question arises when teenagers begin to resist the court-ordered time-sharing schedule: Can a teen just refuse to go?
The answer is no. Court-ordered time-sharing remains legally binding, even for older children. While judges may consider the teen’s preferences, until a new court order is issued, both parents are obligated to follow the existing schedule.
If a child is refusing to visit:
- Document the behavior
- Avoid encouraging or facilitating the refusal
- Avoid punishing the child
- Communicate with the other parent and attempt to resolve the issue
- Seek legal advice from a Tampa divorce lawyer if the problem persists
If the refusal continues and causes disruption, a parent may seek modification of the parenting plan—but it must be done legally through the courts.
Modifying a Parenting Plan Based on a Child’s Preference
If your child has developed a strong, consistent preference to live primarily with one parent, and that preference is grounded in maturity and sound reasoning, it may be appropriate to seek modification of the parenting plan.
To do so, you must show:
- A substantial, material, and unanticipated change in circumstances, and
- That the proposed modification is in the child’s best interests.
The child’s preference alone is not enough. However, when combined with other factors—such as improved stability with one parent, difficulty with transitions, or changes in academic or emotional development—the preference can carry significant weight.
A Tampa divorce lawyer can evaluate whether the time is right to file a modification and how to best present your case to the court.
What Judges Expect from Parents
Regardless of your position, courts expect both parents to act in good faith, support the child’s relationship with the other parent, and avoid putting the child in the middle of adult disputes.
Judges look favorably on parents who:
- Encourage the child’s relationship with the other parent
- Avoid discussing the case with the child
- Communicate respectfully and consistently with the other parent
- Follow all court orders and time-sharing schedules
- Support the child’s emotional and developmental needs
A Tampa divorce lawyer can help you remain in compliance while advocating for your child’s needs and protecting your rights.
Can a Child Testify in Court?
Technically, yes—but it is extremely rare. Florida courts generally avoid putting children on the witness stand. Instead, judges prefer in-camera interviews, GALs, or expert evaluations.
If a parent insists on calling the child as a witness, the judge must determine whether it is appropriate and whether the potential harm outweighs the benefit.
Forcing a child to testify can backfire and is strongly discouraged unless absolutely necessary. A Tampa divorce lawyer can explore alternative ways to present the child’s views without subjecting them to open-court testimony.
FAQ
Q: Can a child choose which parent to live with in Florida?
A: No. The child does not have the final say. The court may consider their preference, but it is just one of many factors in the best interests analysis.
Q: Is there a specific age when a child’s opinion matters more?
A: There is no set age. Generally, courts give more weight to the opinions of older, more mature children, especially those age 14 and up.
Q: Will the judge talk to my child directly?
A: Possibly. The judge may conduct an in-camera interview, especially if both parents agree or request it. A court reporter may be present.
Q: What if my child refuses to go to the other parent’s house?
A: You must still comply with the court-ordered time-sharing schedule. Talk to a Tampa divorce lawyer about how to address the issue legally and protect your child.
Q: Can my child testify in court?
A: Technically, yes, but it is highly discouraged and rare. Most judges prefer to hear from the child through a GAL or psychological evaluation.
Q: How can I prove that my child wants to live with me?
A: Through expert evaluations, guardian ad litem reports, and documented observations. Courts do not want children to be directly involved in legal disputes.
Q: Will the court change custody just because the child wants it?
A: Not necessarily. The child’s preference must be accompanied by a substantial change in circumstances and be in the child’s best interests.
Q: Can a GAL tell the judge what my child wants?
A: Yes. A GAL can interview the child and share their views, along with context, reasoning, and recommendations for the court.
Q: What if the other parent is influencing my child’s opinion?
A: You can present evidence of parental alienation or coercion. A Tampa divorce lawyer can help you gather documentation and request intervention.
Q: Do I need a Tampa divorce lawyer if my child wants to live with me?
A: Yes. These cases are complex and emotionally sensitive. A skilled Tampa divorce lawyer can help you pursue a modification while minimizing harm to your child.
Florida family law recognizes that children’s voices matter—but they don’t carry all the weight. When your child expresses a strong desire to live with one parent, it must be handled carefully, with legal guidance and emotional sensitivity. Whether you’re seeking a change to your parenting plan or trying to ensure your child’s stability, a Tampa divorce lawyer can help you navigate the process while protecting your rights and your child’s best interests. Don’t let your child become a pawn in a legal dispute—get the support you need to make sound decisions for your family’s future.
The McKinney Law Group: Divorce Services for Tampa Clients Rebuilding After a Long-Term Marriage
If you’re ending a long-term marriage, you deserve a divorce strategy that protects your financial future and honors your contributions. At The McKinney Law Group, we help Tampa clients navigate the legal and emotional complexities of divorce later in life.
We assist with:
✔ Dividing pensions, retirement accounts, and real estate
✔ Structuring spousal support based on long-term needs
✔ Addressing health insurance and long-term care concerns
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✔ Providing support through every stage of the transition
Call 813-428-3400 or email [email protected] to speak with a Tampa divorce attorney today.