The moment the judge signs the Final Judgment of Dissolution of Marriage, most people feel an overwhelming sense of relief. The long, emotionally-draining, and expensive process is finally over. You have a Parenting Plan, a legal document that lays out, in black and white, exactly when you will see your children. It is your peace of mind, a rulebook for your new co-parenting life.
Then, the first Friday at 6:00 PM rolls around. You show up for the exchange, and your ex-spouse refuses to open the door. Or they text you, “The kids are sick, they can’t come.” Or perhaps they “forget” to drop the children off after their weekend, robbing you of a day of your time.
Suddenly, that “final” order feels like a worthless piece of paper. Your relief turns to panic, anger, and a sense of profound helplessness. What can you do? Your ex is breaking a court order, but calling the police is often ineffective, as they will typically dismiss it as a “civil matter” and tell you to call your lawyer.
This is a common and deeply frustrating post-judgment reality for many in high-conflict cases. But here is the critical truth: you are not powerless. A Florida Parenting Plan is not a suggestion. It is a binding court order, and there is a specific, powerful legal process to enforce it.
This is not a time for emotional arguments, angry text messages, or pleading with your ex to “be reasonable.” This is a time for strategy. It requires a methodical, two-phase approach: first, you must build your case, and second, you must let a Tampa divorce lawyer execute the legal action.
This guide will walk you through the exact steps to take when your co-parent refuses to follow the timesharing schedule.
Phase 1: The Documentation and Triage Phase
What you do in the hours and days immediately following a violation is the most important part of building your case. A judge will not act on a “he said, she said” argument. A judge will act on a clear, documented, and undeniable pattern of non-compliance. Your job is to create that record.
Step 1: Immediately Review Your Parenting Plan
Before you do anything else, pull out your Final Judgment and read the Parenting Plan word-for-word. The success of an enforcement action depends entirely on the clarity of the language.
- Is the Language Specific? A well-drafted plan from a good Tampa divorce lawyer will be hyper-specific. It will say, “The Father’s timesharing shall commence every other Friday at 6:00 PM and conclude on Sunday at 6:00 PM.” It will specify, “All exchanges shall occur at the Mother’s curbside.” This specific language is highlyenforceable.
- Is the Language Vague? A poorly-drafted or DIY plan might say, “The Father shall have reasonable timesharing as the parties may agree.” This language is a disaster. It is almost unenforceable because your ex can simply “not agree.” If this is your situation, you have a different problem: you do not need an enforcement motion, you need a Supplemental Petition to Modify the parenting plan to include specific language.
Assuming your plan is specific, you can proceed. The violation is a clear breach of the order’s plain text.
Step 2: Triage: Is This a True Emergency?
Your next step is to assess the situation.
- This IS an Emergency if: You believe your child is in imminent physical danger or has been abducted. This is not just a late drop-off; this is a credible threat of harm or a parent fleeing the state. In this specific and rare situation, your first call is 911. Your second call is to the Florida Department of Children and Families (DCF). Your third call is to an emergency number for your Tampa divorce lawyer to file an Emergency Motion for pickup.
- This is NOT an Emergency if: It is any other violation. This includes being late, denying a weekend, interfering with phone calls, or scheduling activities during your time. This is 99% of all violations. Do not call 911. It is not a police matter, and you will only create more conflict. This is a civil enforcement matter.
Step 3: Do Not Engage in a Hostile Confrontation
Your ex-spouse, particularly a high-conflict one, is likely trying to provoke you. They want you to send an angry text. They want you to yell and scream at their doorstep so they can call the police on you. Do not give them the satisfaction.
Your emotional reaction is a liability. Your calm, documented response is your power.
Send one, and only one, calm, factual, and written communication. Use email or a court-ordered co-parenting app (like OurFamilyWizard) for this.
Example of a Bad Response (DO NOT SEND): “You can’t keep doing this! You’re a liar and you’re breaking the order. I’m calling my lawyer and you’ll be sorry!”
Example of a Good Response (SEND THIS): “Per our Parenting Plan dated January 15, 2024, Section 3(a), my timesharing was scheduled to begin tonight, March 20, at 6:00 PM. I am at the exchange location. You have not arrived, and you have denied me my court-ordered time. Please let me know when I can retrieve the children. I will be documenting this violation.”
This message is not for your ex. It is for the judge. It establishes that you know the plan, you were present, and you were denied. It is a perfect piece of evidence.
Step 4: Create Your “Enforcement Log”
This is your most important job. You need to create a detailed log of every single violation. A judge may overlook a single, isolated incident (“My car broke down”), but they cannot ignore a clear pattern of willful non-compliance.
Get a secure spreadsheet or a dedicated notebook. For every violation, you must log:
- Date of Violation: E.g., “Friday, March 20, 2025”
- Time of Violation: “6:00 PM”
- Specifics of the Plan: “Start of my weekend timesharing.”
- Nature of the Violation: “Mother refused to open the door. Sent text at 6:15 PM saying, ‘We made other plans, you can’t see him.'”
- Your Response: “I sent a text at 6:20 PM stating, ‘This is a violation of the parenting plan. I am documenting this denial of my time.’ I waited until 6:30 PM and left.”
- Evidence: “Screenshot of text conversation.”
- Witnesses: “My new spouse was in the car and witnessed the entire event.”
You must also document violations of other, non-timesharing parts of the plan:
- Phone Calls: “March 22, 7:00 PM. Scheduled phone call. Father did not answer the child’s phone. This is the 3rd time this week.”
- Information Sharing: “April 5. Child’s report card was issued. Mother failed to provide it to me in violation of Section 5(b) of our plan. I had to get it from the school myself.”
- Disparagement: “April 10. Child told me, ‘Mommy said you’re a deadbeat and don’t want to pay for me.’ This violates the non-disparagement clause in Section 7.”
This log, filled with dates, facts, and evidence, is the case. When you take this log to a Tampa divorce lawyer, you have handed them everything they need to win.
Phase 2: The Legal Enforcement Phase
After you have documented a clear pattern of violations (for example, two or three significant weekends, or a persistent pattern of denied phone calls), it is time to stop logging and start acting. You cannot let the non-compliance become the “new normal.”
Step 5: Hire an Experienced Tampa Divorce Lawyer
This is not a DIY process. A Motion for Contempt is a technical, quasi-criminal legal proceeding. A single mistake in the paperwork or the legal procedure can get your case thrown out. You need a Tampa divorce lawyer who is an experienced litigator.
When you have your consultation, you will not be showing up with a story; you will be showing up with your Enforcement Log. Your lawyer can immediately assess the strength of your case.
Step 6: Filing the “Motion for Contempt and Enforcement”
Your lawyer will draft and file a “Motion for Contempt and Enforcement” with the Hillsborough County court. This motion is a formal request for a judge to intervene.
To be successful, this motion must allege and prove four specific legal elements:
- A Clear and Definite Court Order Exists: This is your Parenting Plan.
- The Other Parent Knew About the Order: This is easy to prove. They were a party to the divorce case.
- The Parent Willfully Violated the Order: This is the most important element. Your Enforcement Log proves this. It shows the violations were not an accident, but an intentional choice. An ex claiming “I forgot it was your weekend” for the third time is not a mistake; it is a willful act.
- The Parent Had the Ability to Comply: This means they had the child in their care, were physically able, and still chose to deny you the time. (A rare but valid defense would be, “I was in a car accident on the way to the exchange,” which is not willful. “I decided to go to the beach instead” is willful).
Step 7: Asking the Court for “Remedies”
Your motion does not just say, “My ex is bad.” It asks the judge for specific relief. Under Florida Statute § 61.13, you are entitled to ask for several powerful remedies.
A. A Finding of Contempt: This is a formal declaration by the judge that your ex-spouse has violated a court order. This finding alone creates a serious record of non-compliance and is often enough to scare a co-parent into following the rules.
B. Make-Up Timesharing: This is the most critical remedy. Florida law is very clear on this. The statute requires the court to order make-up time for the parent who was denied, and it must be:
- In the best interest of the child.
- In a manner that is “convenient for the nonoffending parent.”
- At a time and in a manner that does not interfere with the child’s schooling or other activities.
Your Tampa divorce lawyer will not just ask for “some time back.” They will attach a specific schedule to the motion. For example: “The Mother was denied 3 weekends (6 overnights). We request these 6 overnights be added to the start of the Father’s summer timesharing, or, in the alternative, be the next 3 consecutive weekends belonging to the Mother.”
C. Attorney’s Fees and Costs: This is the “teeth” of the enforcement. Florida Statute 61.13(4)(c)(iv) mandates that the court order the non-compliant parent to pay the legal fees of the parent who had to file the motion.
The statute says the court shall (meaning it must) award reasonable attorney’s fees and costs to the prevailing party. This is the financial disincentive. Your ex-spouse will be forced to pay their lawyer, and your lawyer, for their decision to violate the plan. This often stops the behavior permanently. A good Tampa divorce lawyer will emphasize this part of the statute.
D. Other Sanctions: The judge has broad power. They can also order:
- The non-compliant parent to pay a fine.
- The non-compliant parent to attend a high-conflict co-parenting course (at their own expense).
- The appointment of a Parenting Coordinator (a neutral “referee”) to manage your case and resolve these disputes out of court (with the non-compliant parent paying the PC’s fees).
- In extreme, repeated cases of contempt, a judge can even order jail time. This is very rare in a first-time enforcement, but it is an available tool.
Step 8: The Legal Process (Mediation and the Hearing)
Once your motion is filed and served, one of two things will happen.
- Mediation: In Hillsborough County, the court will often order the parties to mediation before scheduling a hearing. This is a formal settlement conference. Facing a motion for contempt and a very high likelihood of having to pay your attorney’s fees, your ex-spouse will often become suddenly very cooperative. They may agree to a binding settlement that gives you all your make-up time and pays a portion of your fees, just to avoid seeing the judge.
- The Evidentiary Hearing: If mediation fails, you will go to a hearing. This is a “mini-trial.” This is where your Tampa divorce lawyer will shine, and your documentation will win the day.
- You will be put under oath and will testify. You will calmly and factually present your Enforcement Log.
- Your lawyer will submit your evidence: the screenshots, the emails, the journal.
- Your ex-spouse will then have to testify and try to explain their behavior.
- Your Tampa divorce lawyer will cross-examine them. (“You stated the child was ‘too sick,’ correct? But isn’t it true you posted photos of the child at a birthday party on your Instagram that same day?”).
The judge will listen to the evidence and make a ruling, which will be put into a new, written order.
What if This is a “Pattern” and Contempt is Not Enough?
There is a difference between a parent who violates the plan and a parent who rejects the plan.
If your ex-spouse is constantly in violation, if they are actively engaging in parental alienation, or if they are simply ungovernable, filing a contempt motion every month is not a long-term solution. In this situation, you are no longer in “enforcement” territory. You are in “modification” territory.
You may have grounds to file a Supplemental Petition for Modification of the Parenting Plan.
This is a much larger legal action. You must prove that there has been a substantial, material, and unanticipated change in circumstances and that a modification is in the child’s best interests. A parent’s persistent, willful refusal to co-parent and honor the timesharing schedule can be that substantial change.
In this new lawsuit, you would not just ask for make-up time. You would ask for a permanent change to the plan, such as:
- Giving you ultimate decision-making authority.
- Reducing the other parent’s timesharing.
- Making you the majority parent.
- Ordering all exchanges to be supervised or to occur at a police station.
This is a high-stakes, complex trial. This is a battle that should only be undertaken with a seasoned Tampa divorce lawyer who has significant trial experience.
You Are Not Powerless
The feeling of standing on a doorstep, knowing your child is on the other side and you are being illegally denied your time, is one of the worst a parent can experience. But you are not without a remedy.
The Florida legal system has the tools to fix this. It just requires you to stop being an emotional victim and start being a strategic case builder.
- Document every violation calmly and factually.
- Communicate only in writing, in a “BIFF” manner (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm).
- Hire a Tampa divorce lawyer to file the correct legal motion.
- Enforce the order and demand your make-up time and your attorney’s fees.
Your Parenting Plan is a court order. It is time to treat it that way.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What if my ex only violated the plan one time? It is difficult to get a judge to hold someone in contempt for one isolated incident, especially if they have a decent excuse (like a real car accident). You should still document it in your Enforcement Log. If it happens again, you now have the beginning of a “pattern.”
Can I just withhold child support if my ex withholds my time? ABSOLUTELY NOT. In Florida, child support and timesharing are two completely separate legal issues. Withholding child support is also a violation of the court order. You will be held in contempt yourself, and you will destroy your credibility with the judge. Never, ever do this.
The police will not help me. What is the point? The police are correct. It is a civil matter. Their job is to keep the peace, not to interpret your 30-page parenting plan on a doorstep. The “point” is that your remedy is not with the police; it is with a judge. Your Tampa divorce lawyer is the one who enforces the order, not an officer.
What is a Parenting Coordinator? A Parenting Coordinator (PC) is a neutral third-party expert (a lawyer or a therapist) appointed by the judge in high-conflict cases. Their job is to resolve these exact disputes out of court, saving you time and money. A judge can order a PC as part of an enforcement action.
This sounds expensive. What if I cannot afford it? This is the most important part of Florida Statute 61.13. The law mandates that the non-compliant parent pay your reasonable legal fees. You file the motion, the judge finds your ex in contempt, and the judge orders your ex to pay you back for the cost of having to file. This “fee-shifting” provision is what makes enforcement possible.
The McKinney Law Group: Trusted Divorce Representation in Tampa
From parenting plans to asset division, divorce requires careful planning. Our Tampa divorce lawyers provide skilled, compassionate guidance to help you through this transition with confidence.
Call 813-428-3400 or email [email protected] to get started.