Gray Divorce in Asheville: Why Older Couples in the Blue Ridge Mountains Are Divorcing and How They Can Prepare
In recent years, the phenomenon of “gray divorce” — the term for divorces among couples aged 50 and older — has become more common across the country, including in Asheville. Nestled in the heart of the Blue Ridge Mountains, Asheville is known for its serene landscape and thriving arts and wellness culture, making it a desirable location for retirees and older adults. However, this picturesque setting hasn’t shielded older couples from the rising trend of gray divorce.
As Asheville continues to attract retirees and long-time married couples looking to enjoy their golden years, some find that their marriage is no longer sustainable. The reasons for this can vary from financial issues to shifting personal goals. In this blog, we’ll explore why gray divorce is becoming more prevalent in Asheville, how it differs from divorces earlier in life, and how older couples can prepare both emotionally and financially for this significant life transition.
The Rise of Gray Divorce in Asheville
The increase in gray divorces in Asheville mirrors a nationwide trend. According to a 2020 study by the Pew Research Center, the divorce rate among adults aged 50 and older has roughly doubled since the 1990s. For couples aged 65 and older, the rate has tripled. There are several reasons for this growing trend, and many of them are particularly relevant to Asheville’s older population.
1. Longer Life Expectancy
With advances in healthcare and wellness, people are living longer and healthier lives. This increased life expectancy means that couples in their 50s, 60s, and beyond may have more time to reflect on what they want out of life, and some may realize that they no longer see themselves spending their later years with their spouse. For some, this extended lifespan leads to the realization that they want to start fresh, even after decades of marriage.
Asheville, with its wellness-oriented culture and outdoor activities, attracts many retirees looking to lead active lifestyles in their later years. However, as they settle into retirement, some couples may find that their goals, interests, or personal growth no longer align, prompting them to pursue divorce.
2. Changing Roles and Expectations in Retirement
Many couples in Asheville enter retirement expecting to enjoy a slower pace of life, spending more time together and pursuing shared interests. However, retirement can also bring challenges. The sudden shift from working full-time to spending most of your time at home can put a strain on a marriage. Some couples struggle to adjust to being around each other more, while others may realize that they have grown apart over the years but were too busy working or raising children to notice.
In Asheville, where retirees often seek out an active lifestyle, there may be a disconnect between spouses who want to pursue different paths. One spouse may want to spend more time hiking, engaging in Asheville’s art scene, or volunteering, while the other may prefer a quieter, more sedentary retirement. These differing expectations can lead to tension and, in some cases, divorce.
3. Financial Independence
Older couples today are more financially independent than previous generations. Many women in their 50s, 60s, and 70s are financially self-sufficient and no longer rely on their spouse for financial security. This economic independence makes it easier for older individuals to leave marriages that no longer bring them happiness.
In Asheville, where the cost of living is higher than in surrounding areas, financial independence plays an even bigger role. Many retirees who have built up retirement savings, investments, or pensions may feel more comfortable pursuing a divorce, knowing they have the financial resources to support themselves.
4. Empty Nest Syndrome
For many older couples, the departure of children from the home — known as “empty nest syndrome” — can be a catalyst for reevaluating their marriage. When children are no longer the primary focus, some couples may find that they no longer have much in common. After decades of focusing on raising a family, they may struggle to reconnect as partners.
In Asheville, where many families are drawn to the area’s high quality of life and outdoor opportunities, empty nest syndrome can be particularly impactful. Once children leave for college or begin their own lives, couples are left to navigate their relationship without the shared responsibility of parenting.
Preparing for a Gray Divorce in Asheville
Going through a gray divorce in Asheville presents unique challenges, but with careful planning and guidance, older adults can prepare for this transition and protect their financial and emotional well-being. Here are some key steps to take when facing a gray divorce.
1. Understand the Financial Implications
One of the most significant concerns in any divorce, but especially in a gray divorce, is the division of assets. Older couples often have more complex financial situations, including retirement accounts, pensions, investments, real estate, and Social Security benefits. Asheville’s growing real estate market, in particular, can complicate the division of property if one spouse wishes to remain in the family home, which may have appreciated significantly in value.
Some specific financial issues to consider during a gray divorce include:
- Division of Retirement Accounts: Pensions, 401(k)s, and IRAs are typically considered marital property and must be divided during a divorce. A Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) may be necessary to divide retirement benefits without incurring penalties.
- Social Security Benefits: If you’ve been married for at least 10 years, you may be entitled to a portion of your spouse’s Social Security benefits, even after divorce. Understanding how Social Security works in divorce can help you make informed decisions about your future income.
- Real Estate: Given Asheville’s rising housing prices, it’s important to carefully evaluate whether keeping or selling the family home makes the most financial sense. If one spouse wants to keep the home, they may need to buy out the other spouse’s share, which can be challenging in a high-priced real estate market like Asheville.
- Spousal Support (Alimony): In a gray divorce, one spouse may be entitled to spousal support, particularly if they sacrificed career advancement to raise children or support the other spouse’s career. Courts in North Carolina consider factors such as the length of the marriage, the age of both spouses, and their respective earning capacities when determining alimony.
2. Consider Emotional Support
Divorce at any age is emotionally difficult, but gray divorce can be particularly challenging for older adults who may not have anticipated starting over later in life. It’s essential to seek emotional support from friends, family, or a therapist to help navigate the emotional toll of divorce.
In Asheville, where the community places a strong emphasis on wellness and mental health, there are many resources available for individuals going through a gray divorce. Whether it’s through counseling, support groups, or wellness retreats, taking care of your mental health is just as important as managing the legal and financial aspects of divorce.
3. Plan for Your Future
One of the positive aspects of gray divorce is that it can offer a new beginning. Many individuals find that after the initial challenges of divorce, they are able to rediscover themselves and pursue new interests and passions. Asheville’s vibrant community and natural surroundings make it an ideal place to explore new hobbies, volunteer opportunities, or social groups.
As you plan for life after divorce, consider what you want your future to look like. Do you want to stay in Asheville or move to a different community? Are there activities or interests you’ve always wanted to pursue but didn’t have the time for during your marriage? Embracing this new chapter with a sense of curiosity and optimism can help you move forward.
4. Work with an Experienced Divorce Lawyer
Given the complexities of a gray divorce, it’s essential to work with an experienced divorce lawyer who understands the unique challenges older adults face during divorce. In Asheville, where cost of living, real estate, and retirement planning are all critical factors, having legal guidance can help you protect your interests and ensure a fair settlement.
A knowledgeable divorce lawyer can help you navigate the division of assets, understand the impact of Social Security and retirement accounts, and ensure that you are prepared for the financial realities of life after divorce.
Conclusion
Gray divorce is becoming increasingly common among older couples in Asheville, reflecting a broader national trend. Whether it’s due to longer life expectancy, changing expectations in retirement, or financial independence, older adults in Asheville are making the decision to end their marriages and start anew.
While divorce later in life presents its own set of challenges, with proper preparation and support, older couples can successfully navigate this transition. By understanding the financial implications, seeking emotional support, and working with an experienced divorce lawyer, individuals going through a gray divorce can move forward with confidence and embrace the opportunities that lie ahead.
At The McKinney Law Group, we take pride in providing exceptional legal support to clients across Florida and North Carolina. Our focus encompasses a wide range of services, including family law, estate planning, and divorce matters. With a deep understanding of the complexities involved in these areas, our dedicated team is committed to delivering personalized solutions that cater to the unique circumstances of each client. Whether you are located in Tampa Bay, Florida, or Asheville, North Carolina, we are here to assist you every step of the way.
Our seasoned professionals understand that legal challenges can be daunting, which is why we emphasize a client-centered approach. We work closely with you to identify your needs and goals, ensuring that our strategies align with your specific situation. With offices conveniently located in both states, we are always prepared to offer expert guidance and compassionate support, no matter where you are.
If you have inquiries about prenuptial or postnuptial agreements, require assistance with estate planning or wills, or need professional legal counsel regarding family law issues—including high asset divorces—we encourage you to reach out to Damien McKinney. He can be reached at 813-428-3400 or via email at [email protected]. Damien is ready to provide you with a thorough consultation, helping you navigate your legal journey with confidence.
Moreover, we understand that convenience is key in today’s fast-paced world. That’s why we offer streamlined online services for creating prenuptial agreements, making it easier than ever to address your legal needs from the comfort of your home. Contact us today to learn more about how our online prenup options can simplify your experience and provide you with peace of mind.