When it comes to asking your fiancé for a prenuptial agreement, there are several issues to consider. Just blurting out that you want a prenup probably won’t go over very well, so finding a better way to approach the subject is a good first step. Whether you’ve been together a year or a decade, it’s a good idea to have a prenup before marrying.
While you don’t have to have all the answers, and you might not be sure exactly how to work through any questions or concerns, there are a few points to think about before you bring up the request. Here’s how to ask your fiancé for a prenuptial agreement.
Choose the Right Time and Place
Asking your fiancé for a prenup isn’t one of those 10-minute conversations you have on the way to the restaurant for date night, or a casual discussion as you’re driving to the grocery store. It’s extremely important, and it’s something you and your fiancé want to discuss thoroughly.
That means you need plenty of time for the conversation, and also a good location where you’re both comfortable and not distracted. Places like vehicles, restaurants, and grocery stores aren’t good locations. There can be interruptions, and you want to focus on the issue at hand instead of worrying about things like shopping carts, traffic, and whether the new owners have changed the menu.
By carefully choosing a quiet time when nothing else is going on, and a good location with minimal chance of interruption, you can have an open and honest discussion and resolve the issue of a prenuptial agreement.
Don’t Wait Until the Last Minute
Another pitfall of asking your fiancé for a prenup is putting it off for too long. Having the conversation early is a better choice. If you wait until it’s very close to the wedding, your future spouse might just assume that you’re not going to ask for a prenup, or might not have given it any thought at all. They could even have very strong feelings on the matter.
When you wait until the wedding’s coming up, and then suddenly mention that you want a prenuptial agreement, it can cause stress and tension between you and your fiancé while you’re also in the middle of wedding planning. There’s no reason to bring up your feelings on prenups on your first date, but when you get serious about marriage and engagement it’s a conversation you should have.
Be Clear About Reasons and Worries
If you’re worried about financial issues in a divorce, you have fears because of a bad experience in the past, or there are other specific issues you want or need to address, talk them out. Don’t be vague and just say it’s a good idea for everyone unless that’s truly why you’re asking for a prenuptial agreement.
The truth is that most people who really want a prenup have a reason. They’ve lost money or property in a divorce before, or they’ve seen it happen to friends or family members. You could be in that situation. Or maybe you’re building a business and don’t want to risk losing out later if it performs well. Be honest. Your fiancé should always respect that.
Draft Your Prenup Together
One of the very best ways to show that you’re asking for a prenup to protect both of you is to draft it together. A prenuptial agreement typically protects the wealthier party to the marriage, but that doesn’t mean the other person should lose out. When prenups are drafted the right way, they help protect both spouses from financial harm if there is a divorce in the future.
You and your fiancé can put anything you want into your prenup, as long as it’s legal. It’s best to keep it simple if you can, and not to add a lot of rules and regulations. At the same time, you want to be sure you’ve both covered anything that’s truly important to either one of you. By creating this document together, you can both feel comfortable with what it involves.
Understand It Could be Uncomfortable
Having a conversation where you ask your fiancé for a prenup could be uncomfortable, weird, or awkward. It’s possible that it won’t be any of those things. Maybe your future spouse is also thinking about a prenup, but doesn’t know how to bring up the subject. It’s also possible your fiancé will be really offended, and it could even cause a fight.
But no matter what, you want to be willing to sit with the awkwardness and potential disagreement that asking for this kind of contract could cause. Avoiding a prenup because you don’t want to have an uncomfortable conversation at the moment could cause you serious legal and financial problems in the future. It’s much better to do what needs to be done, even when it’s difficult.
Get Legal Guidance to Do It Right
Before either one of you sign or finalize your prenuptial agreement, get legal guidance from an attorney. They may say that the agreement you have looks great, or they may have some suggestions for wording and other details. But the bottom line is that you want the contract to be valid, legal, enforceable, and binding. An attorney can help you make sure that’s the case.
Not only does that make things easier if you should divorce in the future, but it can also provide you and your fiancé with peace of mind as you head into married life. Marriage comes with challenges, and working through setting up a prenuptial agreement can be one of the ways to learn more about how you and your fiancé will meet and handle those challenges together. With honest conversations and proper legal guidance, you can create a solid agreement you can both feel good about.
If you have questions about a prenup agreement or a postnup agreement or require legal assistance in other areas of Family Law you may always contact Damien McKinney of The McKinney Law Group to discuss your case further. He can be reached by phone at 813-428-3400 or by e-mail at [email protected].
We now offer virtual prenuptial agreements. Contact us to inquire further about our virtual prenup option.