How To Tell Your Kids You’re Getting Divorced?
An experienced Tampa, FL divorce lawyer at The McKinney Law Group understands that, as a parent, it’s difficult to tell your children that you’re getting divorced. You know how much it will upset them and don’t want to bring any pain into their lives. However, it’s best to inform your kids about your decision as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to tell them. Here are some tips for telling your kids that you’re getting divorced:
Tell the News With Your Spouse
If you and your spouse plan on getting a divorce, there’s probably a lot of tension between the two of you. However, a Tampa, FL divorce lawyer will tell you that it’s important to put your emotions aside and calmly tell your children together about the divorce. If you communicate this information to your children together, it will have a better impact on them.
Talk in a Private Place
Telling your children that you’re getting divorced in a busy restaurant or another public place probably is not the best idea. If there are a lot of strangers around, your kids might not feel comfortable to express all their feelings. That is why it is best to break the news in the privacy of your own home. It’s quiet and your children will feel safe there. If they have any concerns or questions, they will feel more comfortable voicing them in their home.
Don’t Mention the Little Details
It is not necessary to mention the very personal information regarding your divorce to your children. They’re too young to fully understand it. Telling your kids that you are getting divorced because the other parent was cheating or drinking too much will just upset them more. Instead, tell your children that you and your spouse don’t get along well anymore and want to get divorce.
Tell Your Children That This Isn’t Their Fault
Many children believe they are partly to blame for their parents’ divorce. This can lead to depression, anxiety and other emotional issue. An empathetic divorce lawyer for Tampa, FL can tell you that’s why it is critical to stress to your kids that this is in no way their fault. Tell them that you and your spouse still love them very much.
Encourage Your Children to Voice Their Questions and Concerns
Once you are done telling your children about the divorce, let them know that you are always there to answer their questions. They likely have several things they want to ask, so you should make it clear that you are open to answering all sorts of questions. Be patient with them and take the time to answer their questions, no matter how complicated they may be. If you need additional support, you can always rely on your committed Tampa, FL divorce lawyer.
One of the most difficult things to deal with for parents who are going through a divorce is the effect the divorce has on the couple’s children. Not only does each spouse have their own range of emotions they may be processing – sadness, anger, stress – but the children are likely also dealing with a myriad of emotions over their parents’ break up.
In order to get through the whole ordeal has emotionally healthy as possible, it is critical for parents to know how the divorce is affecting their child and how to communicate and really listen to what they are feeling. Many children blame themselves for the breakup and this can lead to all sorts of issues if these and other fears are not dealt with properly.
The best way to deal with a child is dependent on their age. The following is a helpful overview based on the experiences a Tampa FL divorce attorney has seen, however, it can also be helpful to see a family therapist if the child is really having a difficult time coping.
Babies and Toddlers: Many children at this age usually do not have any memories of the divorce process when they are this young during their parent’s breakup. It is important that both parents continue to bond and comfort with the baby in order to make sure he or she has a solid relationship with both of them.
Preschoolers: A child this young is able to pick up on emotions and events that are taking place around them, so it is likely they will be aware that something is changing in their lives. Although they will not really understand what is going on around them, they are able to articulate some of what they are feeling.
Children between 6 to 8 years of age: At this age, children are able to explain how they are feeling and what things make them happy or sad. They are still too young to understand complicated matters, so details of why parents are divorcing should remain simple. Children at this age also began to develop relationships outside of the home, separate from their parents. These can include friends, parents of friends, teachers, and coaches.
Children between 9 to 11 years of age: At this age, children are able to process more complicated issues, including divorce. They have likely established strong relationships, separate from their parents, who they are able to share feelings with. Children at this age tend to process things in a “black/white” manner and may blame one parent for the divorce, siding with the other.
Children between 12 to 14 years of age: At this age, parents are able to have deeper discussions about the divorce because the child is old enough to understand and process complex issues. The child may blame one parent over the other for the breakup, depending on the circumstances of the divorce, as well as the relationships he or she has with each parent.
Children at this age are also developing their own independence from their parents and may insist on more of a say over which parent they spend time with and when.
If you follow these tips from The McKinney Law Group, it will be a little easier to tell your kids that you’re getting divorced. If you need assistance filing your divorce papers, you should consult with an experienced Tampa, FL divorce lawyer as soon as possible. An reliable attorney can help you file these documents in a timely manner and advise you on various matters regarding your divorce. To speak with a trusted Tampa, FL divorce lawyer, call The McKinney Law Group today! To find out how a divorce attorney Tampa FL families trust can help you with your divorce, contact The McKinney Law Group today.