The holidays have a way of bringing every unresolved issue in a divorce to the surface. When a case has been filed in Hillsborough County but is not yet final, parents often face Thanksgiving, winter break, and long-standing family traditions without a final parenting plan in place. The questions come quickly. Who has the children on Christmas morning? Can one parent take the kids to visit relatives out of state? What happens if the other parent simply refuses to cooperate?
Florida law provides a framework for answering these questions before a judge ever signs a final judgment. Understanding how that framework works, and where its gaps are, helps parents protect their time with their children and avoid mistakes that can follow them into the final hearing. A Tampa divorce lawyer can apply these rules to the facts of a particular family, but the general principles are worth knowing for any parent heading into the holiday season with a case still open.
Why Holiday Time-Sharing Gets Complicated Before a Divorce Is Final
A divorce involving minor children rarely wraps up in a few weeks. Between the initial petition, financial disclosures, the required parenting course, mediation, and possible hearings, many cases take several months or longer to resolve. During that time, life keeps moving. School breaks arrive, relatives make travel plans, and children look forward to traditions they have known for years.
The challenge is that most families do not have a final parenting plan during this stretch. A final plan, approved by the court, typically spells out exactly who has the children for each holiday, when exchanges happen, and how travel works. Without one, parents are left to rely on informal arrangements, a temporary order, or nothing at all.
It also helps to understand the language Florida courts use. Florida no longer uses the terms “custody” and “visitation” in family cases. Instead, the law refers to parental responsibility, which covers major decisions about a child’s upbringing, and time-sharing, which covers the schedule of when the child is with each parent. Holiday schedules fall under time-sharing. When a Tampa divorce lawyer talks about a “holiday time-sharing schedule,” that is simply the part of a parenting plan that governs holidays and school breaks.
Emotions add another layer. The first holiday season after a separation is often the hardest. Parents who are otherwise reasonable may dig in over a single day, especially one tied to strong memories. Recognizing that pressure in advance makes it easier to approach the schedule calmly.
What Florida Law Says About Time-Sharing While a Case Is Pending
The main statute governing parenting issues in Florida is Section 61.13 of the Florida Statutes. It requires a parenting plan in every case involving minor children and directs courts to decide time-sharing based on the best interests of the child. The statute lists a series of factors judges consider, including each parent’s ability to encourage a close relationship between the child and the other parent, each parent’s ability to honor a time-sharing schedule, the child’s developmental needs, and the stability of each home.
In 2023, the Florida Legislature amended Section 61.13 to create a rebuttable presumption that equal time-sharing is in a child’s best interests. In practical terms, the court starts from the position that a 50/50 schedule is appropriate, and a parent who wants something different must prove by a preponderance of the evidence that equal time-sharing would not serve the child. That presumption shapes the way temporary schedules are negotiated and argued, including how holidays are divided.
While a case is pending, either parent can ask the court for a temporary parenting arrangement through a motion for temporary relief. A temporary order can address the regular weekly schedule, holiday time-sharing, child support, and other urgent issues. Once entered, a temporary order stays in effect until the court replaces it with another order or with the final judgment. It is not merely a suggestion. Both parents are expected to follow it, and the court can enforce it.
The Hillsborough County Standing Temporary Order
Family cases with minor children filed in the Thirteenth Judicial Circuit, which covers Hillsborough County, come with a Standing Temporary Order for family law cases involving minor children. This order applies automatically once the case is filed and served. It does not set a specific holiday schedule, but it does set ground rules for how parents are expected to conduct themselves toward the children while the case moves forward.
The standing order reflects the court’s central concern with the safety, financial security, and well-being of the children. Parents should read it carefully before making any holiday plans, particularly plans that involve travel or significant changes to the children’s routine. Some provisions limit what a parent can do on their own, and violating them can create problems later in the case.
Because the standing order is general, it rarely resolves a specific dispute about who gets which holiday. It works more like a set of guardrails. The detailed schedule usually comes from an agreement between the parents or a temporary order from the judge. A Hillsborough County divorce attorney can review the standing order alongside any proposed holiday plan to make sure the plan does not run afoul of it.
Three Ways Holiday Schedules Get Set During a Pending Divorce
There is no single path to a temporary holiday schedule. Most families end up using one of three approaches, and some use a combination.
1. A Written Agreement Between the Parents
The simplest route is for both parents to agree on a holiday schedule and put it in writing. When parents can cooperate, this is often the fastest and least expensive option. It also gives them more control than a judge’s decision would.
A verbal understanding is risky, though. Memories differ, plans change, and a casual text exchange may not be clear enough to enforce. The safer approach is a written agreement that both parents sign, which can then be submitted to the court as an agreed temporary order. Once the judge signs it, the agreement carries the same weight as any other court order.
2. Mediation
Mediation is a central part of family cases in Hillsborough County. A neutral mediator meets with both parents, often with their attorneys, and helps them work toward an agreement. Mediation is confidential, and the mediator does not decide anything. The goal is a settlement both parents can accept.
Judges generally expect parents to make a genuine effort to resolve temporary issues before asking the court to step in. Mediation is often where that happens. A holiday schedule is frequently easier to settle than other disputed issues, and reaching agreement on it can build momentum for the rest of the case.
3. A Temporary Relief Hearing
When parents cannot agree, either one can file a motion for temporary relief and ask the court to set a holiday schedule. At the hearing, each side presents evidence and argument, and the judge decides what arrangement serves the children’s best interests until the case is resolved.
Timing matters here. Family court calendars tend to fill up, and the weeks before Thanksgiving and winter break can be especially busy. Parents who wait until mid-December to raise a Christmas dispute may find there is no hearing time available before the holiday. An experienced Tampa divorce lawyer will usually recommend addressing holiday time-sharing well in advance, ideally in the early fall, so there is room for negotiation and, if needed, a hearing.
Common Holiday Schedule Structures Florida Parents Use
Florida’s parenting plan forms give families a useful starting point, and many temporary agreements borrow from them. While every family is different, a few structures come up again and again.
- Alternating years. One parent has a holiday in even-numbered years and the other has it in odd-numbered years. This works well for single-day holidays like Thanksgiving or Easter.
- Splitting the holiday. One parent has Christmas Eve and the other has Christmas Day, with the arrangement flipping the following year. This allows both parents to share part of the celebration every year.
- Dividing winter break in halves. The school winter break is split into two blocks, with the parents alternating which half they receive. The halfway point is often tied to a specific date and time.
- Fixed holidays. Some days naturally go to one parent every year. Mother’s Day weekend typically goes to the mother and Father’s Day weekend to the father, regardless of the regular schedule.
- Birthdays. Parents may agree that each parent has a few hours with the child on the child’s birthday, or that the child spends their own birthday with the parent whose year it is.
- Other breaks and occasions. Spring break, Halloween, religious holidays, and three-day weekends can all be addressed. Leaving them out often leads to conflict later.
The most effective holiday schedules are specific. Rather than saying “Thanksgiving with Mom,” a well-drafted agreement states when Thanksgiving time begins and ends, where the exchange happens, and who handles transportation. Many Tampa families tie holiday periods to the Hillsborough County Public Schools calendar, since school breaks shift from year to year. Defining a break as starting “when school releases for winter break” and ending “the day before school resumes” avoids arguments over dates.
How Holiday Time Interacts With the Regular Schedule
One of the most common sources of conflict is the overlap between holiday time and the regular weekly schedule. Suppose the regular schedule gives one parent every other weekend, and Christmas falls on that parent’s weekend in a year when the other parent has the holiday. Which schedule controls?
The general practice in Florida parenting plans is that holiday time-sharing takes priority over the regular schedule. When the holiday period ends, the regular schedule picks up where it would otherwise be. That said, the agreement or temporary order should state this expressly. It should also say whether a parent who loses a regular weekend because of the holiday schedule receives any make-up time. Make-up time is not automatic unless the agreement or order provides for it.
Exchanges deserve attention too. Holiday exchanges often happen at unusual times and places. A plan that names a specific location, such as a public place near both homes, and a specific time reduces the chance of a tense exchange in front of the children. For parents who have difficulty communicating, a co-parenting app can create a clear record of what was agreed.
Can a Parent Travel Out of State With the Children During the Holidays?
Holiday travel is one of the most frequently disputed issues in a pending divorce. Many families have relatives in other states or countries, and the holidays are often the only time children can see them.
Before booking anything, a parent should check three things: the standing temporary order, any temporary order or agreement already in place, and the other parent’s position. Taking the children out of the area without the other parent’s agreement or court approval can be treated as a serious violation, and it can damage that parent’s credibility with the judge.
The better practice is to get written consent from the other parent that includes the travel dates, destination, where the children will stay, and how the other parent can reach them. If the other parent refuses unreasonably, the traveling parent can ask the court for permission. International travel raises additional concerns, including passports and the risk that a child may not be returned. Courts take those concerns seriously, so international holiday travel during a pending case usually requires careful planning and clear documentation.
Parents sometimes confuse holiday travel with relocation. Florida’s relocation statute, Section 61.13001, governs a change in a parent’s principal residence of at least 50 miles for at least 60 consecutive days. A temporary holiday trip is not a relocation under that statute. Even so, a trip still has to comply with the standing order and any temporary order in the case. A divorce attorney in Tampa can review the plan before tickets are purchased, which is far easier than trying to fix a problem after the fact.
What If the Other Parent Will Not Agree to a Holiday Schedule?
When the other parent will not cooperate, the temptation to take matters into one’s own hands can be strong. Keeping the children past an agreed return time, refusing an exchange, or leaving town without notice may feel justified in the moment. These choices almost always backfire. Judges look closely at how each parent behaves during the case, and self-help tactics tend to reflect poorly on the parent who uses them.
A more effective approach usually follows these steps:
- Make a clear, reasonable proposal in writing. A specific, child-focused proposal shows good faith and creates a record.
- Keep communication civil and documented. Texts and emails may end up as evidence. Keeping them brief and respectful protects you.
- Involve counsel early. A Tampa family law attorney can often resolve a holiday dispute through a direct conversation with the other parent’s lawyer.
- Use mediation if negotiation stalls. A mediator can help bridge a gap that seems impossible to close between the parents alone.
- File a motion for temporary relief if needed. When agreement is not possible, asking the court to decide is the proper route.
It is also important to understand what qualifies as an emergency. Florida courts reserve emergency hearings for situations involving a real risk of harm to a child, such as abuse, abduction, or serious safety concerns. A disagreement over which parent gets Thanksgiving dinner, however frustrating, generally does not meet that standard. Filing an emergency motion over an ordinary scheduling dispute can waste valuable time and may irritate the court. Planning early is the best way to avoid needing a last-minute hearing at all.
What Happens If a Parent Violates a Temporary Holiday Order?
Once a holiday schedule is part of a court order, both parents must follow it. When one parent does not, Florida law gives the court several tools. Under Section 61.13, a court that finds a parent refused to honor time-sharing without proper cause may order make-up time-sharing for the other parent, require the noncompliant parent to complete a parenting course, order community service, award attorney’s fees and costs, or impose other sanctions it considers appropriate. In serious cases, a parent may face contempt proceedings.
The parent whose time was denied should document what happened, including dates, times, and any related messages, and then speak with counsel about the best way to respond. Retaliating by withholding the children during the next exchange or stopping court-ordered support is never the right move. Two violations do not cancel each other out. Instead, they give the court reasons to question both parents’ judgment.
A Tampa divorce lawyer can evaluate whether a violation is worth bringing to the court’s attention right away or whether it is better addressed as part of the larger case. Sometimes a single missed exchange caused by a genuine misunderstanding is best handled with a clarifying agreement. A pattern of interference is a different matter and may call for a formal motion.
How Holiday Behavior Can Affect the Final Parenting Plan
Temporary orders are just that: temporary. The judge can set a different schedule in the final judgment. Still, what happens during the pending case often influences the outcome.
One of the best-interest factors in Section 61.13 looks at each parent’s demonstrated capacity to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing relationship between the child and the other parent, to honor the time-sharing schedule, and to be reasonable when changes are needed. Holidays put that factor to the test. A parent who is flexible, communicates respectfully, and keeps the children out of the conflict builds a strong record. A parent who uses the holidays to gain leverage or punish the other parent builds a very different one.
The temporary schedule can also become a practical baseline. If a temporary arrangement works well for the children through a full holiday season, a court may be reluctant to disrupt it in the final plan. On the other hand, if the temporary schedule is clearly not working, that experience can support a request for a different arrangement. Either way, the months before the final hearing matter.
Social media deserves a brief warning as well. Holiday posts, photos, and comments about the other parent can surface as evidence.
Parents should assume anything they post during a pending divorce may be seen by the judge. Before sharing holiday photos or venting about a missed exchange online, it is worth asking a Tampa divorce lawyer whether the post could be used against you. In most cases, the safest choice is to keep the case and the other parent off social media entirely.
Practical Tips for Getting Through the Holidays With a Pending Divorce
Beyond the legal rules, a few practical habits help families get through the season with less stress:
- Start the conversation early. Raising the holiday schedule in September or October leaves time to negotiate, mediate, or schedule a hearing if necessary.
- Put every agreement in writing. Even a simple email confirming dates and times is better than a verbal understanding.
- Focus on the children’s experience. Ask what the children will remember about the holiday, rather than which parent “won” the day.
- Coordinate on gifts and plans when possible. Avoiding duplicate gifts or competing celebrations reduces pressure on the children.
- Keep the children out of the dispute. Children should not be asked where they want to spend the holiday or be told about disagreements over the schedule.
- Be on time for exchanges. Punctuality is one of the simplest ways to show the court you respect the schedule.
- Complete the parenting course. Florida requires parents in a divorce with minor children to complete a Parent Education and Family Stabilization Course. Its lessons on co-parenting are particularly relevant during the holidays.
- Keep a simple log. Note exchanges, missed time, and significant communications. A clear record is valuable if a dispute reaches the judge.
When Safety Is a Concern
Not every holiday dispute is about scheduling. When a parent has genuine concerns about the children’s safety, such as domestic violence, substance abuse, or threats of abduction, the analysis changes. Florida law allows the court to order supervised time-sharing or a safety-focused parenting plan when the facts support it. A petition for an injunction for protection against domestic violence can also address temporary time-sharing in appropriate cases.
These tools exist to protect children, and courts take them seriously. For that reason, they should be used only when real safety concerns exist. Raising safety allegations as a strategy to gain holiday time can seriously harm a parent’s credibility. A parent with legitimate concerns should speak with counsel promptly so the right protective steps can be taken before the holiday arrives.
How Legal Counsel Helps Parents Through Holiday Disputes
Holiday time-sharing disputes may seem small compared with property division or long-term support, but they carry real weight. They affect children directly, they often set the tone for the rest of the case, and they create a record the judge will see. Having a knowledgeable advocate can make a meaningful difference.
An experienced Tampa child custody lawyer can help in several ways:
- Reviewing the Hillsborough County standing temporary order and any existing agreements to identify what is already required
- Drafting a clear, specific holiday schedule that anticipates common points of conflict
- Negotiating with the other parent’s attorney to reach an agreed temporary order
- Preparing for mediation with a realistic view of what a judge is likely to approve
- Filing a motion for temporary relief, with enough lead time to secure a hearing before the holiday
- Responding to violations of a temporary order in a measured, effective way
- Keeping the long-term parenting plan in view so that short-term decisions do not undermine the final outcome
Working with a Tampa divorce lawyer who regularly appears before the Thirteenth Judicial Circuit also brings practical knowledge of local procedures, scheduling realities, and how temporary relief motions are typically handled in Hillsborough County.
Frequently Asked Questions About Holiday Time-Sharing in a Pending Tampa Divorce
Who gets the children for the holidays if there is no court order yet?
If there is no temporary order or written agreement, neither parent has a court-ordered right to a particular holiday. Both parents generally have equal rights to the children until the court says otherwise. This uncertainty is why it is wise to reach a written agreement or seek a temporary order well before the holiday.
Does Florida’s 50/50 presumption apply to holidays?
Florida law presumes that equal time-sharing is in a child’s best interests, and that presumption informs how both regular and holiday schedules are set. Equal time-sharing does not necessarily mean every holiday is split down the middle each year. Alternating holidays from year to year is a common way to achieve fairness over time.
How far in advance should I address the holiday schedule?
As early as possible, ideally in late summer or early fall. Negotiation and mediation take time, and court calendars in Hillsborough County can fill up before major holidays. Waiting until the last few weeks often leaves parents with fewer options.
Can I take my children to visit family in another state for the holidays while my divorce is pending?
Possibly, but you should not travel without first reviewing the standing temporary order and any existing orders. The safest approach is to obtain the other parent’s written consent with full travel details. If the other parent refuses, a Tampa divorce lawyer can ask the court for permission.
What should I do if my spouse keeps the children past the agreed holiday time?
Stay calm and avoid a confrontation in front of the children. Document what happened, including the time and any messages exchanged, and contact your attorney. If there is a court order in place, the court can order make-up time and impose other remedies.
Can a holiday dispute be handled as an emergency?
Usually not. Florida courts reserve emergency hearings for situations where a child faces a real risk of harm. A standard disagreement over holiday time generally needs to go through the normal motion and hearing process, which is why planning ahead is so important.
Will the temporary holiday schedule become the final schedule?
Not automatically. The judge can adopt a different schedule in the final parenting plan. However, how well the temporary arrangement works for the children, and how each parent behaves under it, can influence the final decision.
Should my children have a say in where they spend the holidays?
Florida courts may consider a child’s reasonable preference when the child is mature enough to express one, but parents should not put children in the middle of the dispute. Asking a child to choose between parents can create stress and may reflect poorly on the parent who asks. If a child’s wishes are relevant, an attorney can explain the appropriate way to raise them.
Planning Ahead for the Holiday Season
A pending divorce does not have to define the holidays. With a clear schedule, realistic expectations, and a focus on the children, many families find a way to preserve meaningful traditions even in the middle of a difficult transition. The key is to address holiday time-sharing early, put agreements in writing, and rely on the court process rather than self-help when cooperation breaks down.
If your case is pending in Hillsborough County and the holidays are approaching without a clear plan, speaking with a Tampa divorce lawyer now can help you understand your options, protect your time with your children, and set a constructive tone for the rest of your case.
Written by Damien McKinney, Founding Partner
Damien McKinney is the Founding Partner of The McKinney Law Group Family & Divorce Lawyers, bringing nearly two decades of experience to complex marital and family law matters. He is licensed in both Florida and North Carolina and has been repeatedly recognized as a Rising Star by Super Lawyers.